I AM A PRODUCT OF GRATITUDE

Several years ago, I was working with a group of Tibetan monks whom the Dalai Lama had sent to study science at Emory University. Being Buddhist, Christmas was not a holiday they traditionally celebrated, so when Emory closed for the break, several of them flew to San Francisco to stay with Jason and me for the holiday.

During that time, we had the opportunity to hear their stories and honestly, the stories were heartbreaking. Every one of them had crossed from Tibet into India as a child. Some had lost relatives while making the dangerous journey through the Himalayan passes. Others had left parents, siblings, and entire families behind, with no certainty that they would ever see them again. Many had not spoken with their loved ones for years. Some did not even know whether their families were still alive.

Yet there was something about these monks that struck me. Despite the hardship, despite the loss, despite the uncertainty, they were genuinely happy.

One day I asked a close friend among them how this could be possible. How could he be so joyful when he had not had any contact with his family in more than fifteen years and did not even know if they were alive?

He paused for a moment and thought carefully about his answer. Then he said something that I have never forgotten.

“It is because I am a product of gratitude.” Over the years, I have returned to that simple sentence again and again. It is one of the most profound insights I have ever heard.

"I am a product of gratitude."

Not a product of success.

Not a product of comfort.

Not a product of achievement.

A product of gratitude.

Those words shift our attention away from what is missing in our lives and toward what we already have. They invite us to stop measuring life by what we lack and begin appreciating what we have. In short, gratitude changes the lens through which we view our lives.

The past few months have given me many opportunities to reflect on that lesson.

As I have been preparing for my permanent move to Spain this summer, life has felt intense. There have been endless details to manage, major decisions to make, and a constant stream of responsibilities demanding attention. Most of this winter, I had not been feeling well. I assumed it was stress. Perhaps exhaustion. My rental house in California had tested off the charts for mold so I was sure that was causing my breathing issues. When I arrived in Barcelona in April, I scheduled an appointment with my doctor to get checked out and within minutes of examining me, she instructed me to go directly to the emergency department. I was experiencing tachycardia and heart failure.

What followed were several weeks in and out of the hospital, numerous tests, consultations, and a great deal of uncertainty. Eventually, the medical team was able to identify the cause: a rare congenital heart condition that had gone undiagnosed for most of my life.

There are moments when life suddenly reminds us that our plans are fragile and that the future we have been planning so carefully can change in a single conversation. My assumptions I had been carrying about my health, my time, and my control over my life disappeared overnight.

As I sat in hospital rooms waiting for answers, I found myself thinking often about my Tibetan friend and his words.

"I am a product of gratitude."

I realized that gratitude is not something we practice only when life is going well. In many ways, gratitude matters most when life is difficult.

Gratitude does not deny pain. It does not ignore fear. And gratitude does not pretend that suffering is somehow pleasant.

Rather, gratitude allows us to recognize that even in the midst of hardship, there is still much that is good.

My Tibetan friends taught me that many years ago. My recent health challenges have only deepened my understanding of it. When I look back on the past few months, I do not remember just the fear, the uncertainty, or the hospital. I remember the people who showed up to support both me and Jason. I remember the extraordinary Spanish healthcare system and all of the amazing professionals who make it work. I remember the amazing technology that allows these professionals to diagnose and treat my health issues. I remember the messages, the phone calls, the prayers, the encouragement, and the love that surrounded me when I needed it most.

Most of all, I remember being reminded that every day is a gift.

We spend so much of our lives waiting for life to become perfect before we allow ourselves to be grateful. We imagine that gratitude will come after the problems are solved, after the goals are achieved, or after the future becomes certain.

But life does not work that way.

None of us knows how much time we have. None of us is guaranteed tomorrow. Yet we are often tempted to postpone gratitude until circumstances improve.

We tell ourselves that we will be grateful when the challenge is over, when the diagnosis is resolved, when the finances improve, when the relationship heals, when the next goal is achieved.

But gratitude is not the reward at the end of the journey.

It is the way we travel.

"I am a product of gratitude." As Jason and I begin this next chapter of our lives in Spain, carrying both the lessons of the past and the uncertainties of the future, those words feel more meaningful than ever.

I have a lot of blessings in my life to be grateful for. But I realize that perhaps the measure of a life is not found in what we accumulate, accomplish, or overcome, but in our ability to recognize the gifts that have been present all along.

And if we can learn to do that - if we can learn to see life through the eyes of gratitude - then no matter what challenges come our way, we will always have more than enough reason to move forward with hope.

Because gratitude is not simply something we practice.

It is something we become.